Wedding Sched

Rehearsal (wedding party members): Friday, 3pm; Montauk Club (25 8th Ave, Park Slope, Brooklyn)

Welcome Drinks: Saturday, 5 pm; Union Hall (Union and 5th Ave, Park Slope, Brooklyn)

Wedding: Sunday, 5 pm; Montauk Club

We know what we're gonna be wearing but...

We’ve gotten a few questions from you guys about our dress code. Uh-hm, the invites had a demo-derby theme, but rather than going for “Whee! Casual Friday!” (T-shirt, jeans, shorts, etc), think...festive. If you want to wear a tux, by all means, do. If you’d rather wear nice pants and a dress shirt with or without tie, grand. Ladies, same goes for you, of course. Not the bit about showing up in a suit and tie but you know what I mean. We don’t want to put anyone out, however, so call us if you have questions and/or concerns.

Getting from La Guardia airport to the Nu Hotel (and our neighborhood)

It sounds like everyone coming in from out of town is going through La Guardia. To get to the hotel from there, I would recommend the cab. From LGA to the Nu Hotel (85 Smith Street @ Atlantic Ave.) should run approx. $25-30, depending on traffic. Tip a bit, maybe $2-$4. Though many cabs do take credit cards, they will often tell you the machine it broken. This is a ruse. But I'd still use cash so you don't have to argue it out with the cabby.

After you get your luggage, find the signs for the taxi stand. There will sometimes be "car services" at the airport, guys standing around and saying "car service" under their breath. That's fine if you know what you're doing and the approx price but I'd recommend finding the yellow cab stand. All cabs in NY are yellow and there may be a big line but it can go quickly. Sometimes 10 min. Breathe in the noxious exhaust fumes of the airport. Soak it up. Then, when it's your turn, a taxi stand guy will direct you to a cab and hand you a sheet with the approximate expenses to different locales in the vicinity.

Tell the cabbie you're going to Atlantic Ave and Smith Street in Downtown Brooklyn. Tell them to take the BQE (Brooklyn Queens Expressway, but everyone calls it the BQE) and get off at the Atlantic Ave. exit (# 27). All cabbies will know Atlantic Ave, it's a major road in Brooklyn. Go east on Atlantic Ave until you hit Smith St., then take a left and promptly stop. It's on the NE corner of Smith and Atlantic. Pretty simple in the end. Depending on traffic, 20-30 min.

Mapquest has different directions which you can print out. Though they're more direct, the Atlantic Ave route is likely quicker because you are not taken through Downtown Brooklyn and there are fewer traffic lights.

I used to take the train to LGA, and sometimes still do if I don't have to carry luggage. But it's a bus ride for about 30-45 min, then about a 1 hr to 1.5 hr subway ride to get to the hotel. Until I'd done it a few times, it was a bit confusing. If you can spare the $25-30something, I would heavily recommend the cab. If you are adventurous and patient, bus/subway.

If you're hungry, take a left out of the hotel, cross Atlantic Ave and walk down Smith Street, away from the tall buildings. There are plenty of restaurants on Smith for, pretty much, whatever you may crave.

Directions from Nu Hotel to Montauk Club

Most folks are staying at the Nu Hotel. These directions and options will help you get from there to the Montauk Club, the wedding venue.

Option 1) Take a "car service". It is difficult to hail a yellow cab in Brooklyn. Most of the time they will not stop for you or are wanting to head back into Manhattan, therefore they are doing something technically illegal, though unenforceable for all intents and purposes, and you are SOL. Therefore, you call a "car service" which will pick you up at a location and take you to another. Most of the time it is a Lincoln Town Car in decent shape, though this can vary.

Arecibo Car Service 718-783-6465 (This is our preferred car service. Very prompt, typically the best priced.)
Cobble Hill 718-643-1113 (Used only once. Near hotel.)
Promenade Car Service 718-858-6666
Cadman Express River Car & Limo Service 718-858-7771

You will call the number, they'll pick up and say something indecipherable. You should reply, "Hello, I'm needing a car at 85 Smith Street and I'm going to 25 8th Ave in Park Slope, Brooklyn." They'll likely reply "Between?" which means what corner. So you reply "Smith and Atlantic" for the Nu Hotel and "8th Ave. between St. John's Place and Lincoln Place" for the Montauk Club. Then they'll mumble "5 mins." and promptly hang up. After a few mins., go outside and wait for a black Lincoln Towncar (most likely) to pull up. Then tell him again where you're going and ask the price. The car will cost $7-10, likely.

You could also ask the desk clerk to call you a car. That could work too and maybe there's someone else they'd recommend.

The car should know the way. It should only be a 5-10 min trip, depending on traffic. Here are car directions in case you want them.

Option 2) The Subway. Take the 2 or 3 Train at the Hoyt St. stop (at Fulton St.) to the Grand Army Plaza Stop. (Do not go to the Hoyt-Schermerhorn stop, those trains won't get you there.) Exit the subway and you will find yourself at a large arch and an entrance to a park. The Montauk Club is northwest of the park at the corner of 8th Ave and Lincoln Place. If this is your first time in NY, the subway at Hoyt St. could be hard to find. I don't even know that I've been to that subway stop. If you're set on taking the subway to the Montauk Club, perhaps ask the hotel's desk person how to get to the subway stop and tell her/him you're needing either the 2 train, the 3 train, or the B or Q train. That will put you within one to two blocks of the Montauk Club.

Option 3) Walk. If it's nice weather and you're adventurous, walk. It's about 1.5 miles and if you walk through Boerum Hill and Park Slope, you'll have a decent idea of our neighborhood. Above is a nice little walking route. If it's warm, however, I wouldn't walk.

And remember, the ceremony begins shortly after 5 pm.

The Dress Has Landed

Though it was about 115 degrees and condensation was peeling off the walls, it felt wonderful to ride home on the subway with my wedding dress (in a garment bag, 's ok) on my lap. It's now safely tucked away, but I'm probably going to prance around the apartment in it when Nick is away.

Artifact #4

PHOTO TAKEN DURING A BEAUTIFUL STOP IN ALBUQUERQUE, NM

In the summer of 2001, I still had dwindling ambitions of becoming a writer, and so a reporting internship at Reuters* in LA became the impetus for our first roadtrip. We crammed a boatload of stuff (including one--naturally--leaky gas canister) into the pint-sized Ford Aspire and took of from Columbia, through Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and into California.

Many mini adventures were had. A twilight-zone-esque stop in Shamrock, Texas, where the hundreds of dead crunchy beetles underfoot, hostile-looking locals in a grocery store devoid of groceries and the abandoned/vandalized motel we parked in front of creeped us out so much that we broke off our lunch halfway through** and hightailed it out of there. Being involved in a shoot with a famous photographer in Santa Fe. Visits to as many of the gorgeous Southwestern National Parks as we could afford. Delight in the discovery that the $3.99 Grand Slam from Denny's could sustain us for a good part of the day, virtually every day (and that it is sometimes a 'secret menu item;' ordering it made us feel very insidery). Driving through the Mojave Desert without air conditioning was also quite thrilling. About ten minutes into it I had to pull over, change into a pair of Nick's boxers (shorts were crammed into the bottom of some bag or other) and drive the rest of the way clad only in those and a sports bra. An outfit quite popular with truckers.

Nick says that it was during this roadtrip that he realized our relationship really works. If we can navigate halfway across this huge country in a tiny car without ripping each others' throats out, it means we've got a good thing going. The trip is still one of my fondest memories.


*Where I panned such masterpieces as "Crunch's L.A. Aerobics Class Strips Off Pounds, Inhibitions" (now only available on random websites that picked up said masterpieces)
**Interestingly enough we reached our inexplicable-discomfort saturation point at exactly the same time. A strange episode.

Checkitout!

In spite of my earlier (misplaced) misgivings and blather about also buying a memory when you're buying something this important, we decided to purchase our rings online. And when they arrived in the mail and we slipped them onto each other's fingers (dry run; have to make sure that part goes off without a glitch during the ceremony and all...) it felt wonderful and no less special than if we'd purchased them from a physical jewelry store. I didn't want to take it off. And now it's sitting there in its white box, and I really want to wear it some more. But there's only a little over a month to go. I guess I can wait.

Artifact #3

"Nick and Jana in 30 years." Laura always knew that Nick and I are destined to be together...(sketched on the back of a meager ATM receipt--mine, of course--a year after Nick and I met).

Artifact #2

On our first proper movie-and-dinner date Nick and I watched the very romantic "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" (which I highly recommend, by the way. Talking hand-puppets voiced by a six-foot-seven drag queen? Come on. Gotta love it). During dinner at Tellers I piqued Nick's interest even more by proclaiming that I can sometimes be very "erratic." He thought I'd said "erotic" and got pretty excited.

Artifact #1

Nick and I have a wedding-related-stuff-to-do list on our fridge. Most of the items on it are now crossed out. A few things still remain (writing the vows, getting a marriage license, picking out some more songs, etc), but pretty much of all the big parts are in place. We will be married in 54 days. Until then, we'll post a few artifacts of our relationship. Random things, notes, jokes, tickets; some signifying big moments in our relationship, some smaller, every day ones. There are enough to fill a large box in our apartment, so there's plenty to draw from.

Our Registry Info

Before we get all into this business: Your presence at the wedding alone is a gift to us. Many of you are shouldering expensive travel and hotel costs to be there, and we deeply appreciate that. However, there have been inquiries as to where we are registered so here are ze deets.

Faux-pas: noun, plural faux pas
a slip or blunder in etiquette, manners, or conduct; an embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion.
Like the time I slapped a complete stranger on the ass at the company Christmas party, thinking it was my dad. Being 13 and very susceptible to attacks of extreme embarrassment I feverishly prayed for spontaneous combustion and was—as you might be able to guess—denied.

Or the time Nick and I suggest money as a wedding gift.

We know that this isn’t really the thing to do at American weddings and of course understand if a check is not a gift that you are comfortable giving. Therefore we’ve also registered for desirable home goods at three places. And, let’s be honest, I love myself a salad bowl with a cute deer and a fox on it. I mean, who doesn’t?!

AMAZON:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/284Z6UIRYLWWX
This should take you straight to the page we created.

(Ye olde) CRATE & BARREL:
crateandbarrel.com
Click on “Gift Registry” on the home page, then search under First Name: Jana, Last Name: Meier

VELOCITY ART & DESIGN:
http://www.velocityartanddesign.com/
Scroll all the way down and on the left side you will see “Gift Registry.” Again, sign in under my name (I am the “creator” [insert maniacal laughter here]) and also type in the date of our wedding, September 6, 2009.

Thank you.

Poor wee things.

The idea of desiccated seahorses as wedding decor makes me sad. And a little queasy. Lookit the little one on the upper left. All curled up into itself. Oy. Are these the kinds of people that pour salt on snails to get the party started?

Laura, one totally honorable maiden

Given that I met my future husband at a demolition derby, it seems only appropriate that I met my best friend and maid of honor Laura Konrad in the front row of a heavy metal concert. Well, it was Henry Rollins during his spoken-word phase, which may or may not count as heavy metal. Being sprinkled by a heavily tattooed rock star’s sweat and spittle was a formative bonding experience. We immediately developed a liking for each other, despite the fact that I was wearing a bandana that day!

Laura experienced the entire breadth of my relationship with Nick, from the tender beginnings of him as the “really cute American guy with the cool car” to ”the love of my life, whom I’m marrying in 75 days.” And Laura taught Nick his first German phrases! Imagine my surprise when he busted out “Jana ist das schoenste und kluegste Maedchen der Welt”* on the way back from KC one night. Very. Impressed.

Today, through some miraculous twist of fate, we live only seven blocks apart on the same street in Brooklyn. But we’re no longer the sarcastic, sometimes macabre, chain-smoking, artsy, book-devouring German girls we were back then. We both quit smoking.

* “Jana is the most beautiful and intelligent girl in the world.”

Request a song

Originally, our plan had been to include a line on the RSVP card that would allow you, our most beloved guests, to suggest a song (or songs) we might play at the wedding reception. However, post office regulations intervened; we had to sacrifice that space to leave room for markings the US Postal Service likes to smear on the bottom half of postcards.

So here, now, is your opportunity to request a song. We will try to make it happen. I suppose I don't need to mention that the macarena is off limits. And Nick requested the right to veto anything by Barry Manilow, Lionel Richie, KISS, and Mastodon. I'm not sure if it makes me cool or a loser that I've never even heard of Mastodon.

Regardless. Feel free to leave your request in the comments section of this entry.

Heady Mixtures

The RSVP cards have begun rolling in, reminding me how wonderful it is to find actual mail stuffed in next to my Fake Native American Goods and Discount Bedding catalogs. First prize (maybe a warm handshake, maybe a hug, I haven't decided yet) goes to Nick and Maria, whose RSVP card trundled in three days ago all by its lonesome. They do live two blocks away, however, and thus might have an unfair advantage.

Lots of you have been remarking about how much you like the invites. It must be said, at this point, that while I sat in the cushy art director's chair, most of the heavy lifting on these invites was done by genius and Canadian (those traits appear to go hand-in-hand) illustrator Tavis Coburn and his infinitely patient and lovely assistant, Patrick Gray. I first worked with Tavis at Outside magazine a few years ago, and his illustrations have appeared in pretty much every magazine cluttering newsstands today. At the rate he's going, Patrick won't be far behind. Check out both of their web sites: taviscoburn.com and grayillustration.com.

Last but definitely not least I have to thank the guys at V+V Sofortdruck GmbH in Germany. Whew. Try saying that three times fast. Anyway. They printed AND trimmed the invites for free, saving me hours of tears, sweat and colorful nervous breakdowns. No doubt my invites would've clogged the printers at the office in some disastrous and impossible-to-extract manner. And it's not like I could do what people usually do in those situations. Walk away, whistling a jaunty tune, later exclaiming: "WHAT?! Somebody broke the printer? Well...I haven't printed anything to that printer in three weeks!" 'Cause the invites got my name on 'em. So finding the culprit is a no-brainer. I've thought this through, as you can tell. But I--as usual--digress. It's unlikely that the folks at Sofortdruck will ever read this blog but I am nevertheless publicly thanking them. Herewith.

I would like to close by saying that as the wedding draws nearer, I am beset by a heady mixture of joy and anxiety. Last night brought the wedding nightmare tally up to three, and they are getting increasingly stuh-range:
1) Dreamt that I was an hour and a half late for the ceremony. But, thankfully, Nick had anticipated my being late and lied to me about the start of the festivities. Thus, I was only half an hour late. Hmmm. Highly unlikely. But on the weirdness scale, I give it a 1 out of 10.
2) Dreamt that my purple strapless dress (as if) fell down during the ceremony, thus causing me to expose myself to the entire assembled crowd. In addition, my hair had turned to straw. I give that one a 3.5.
3) In what a think was a 9 on this scale, I encountered some kind of slug-like deep-sea creature that had washed ashore. Naturally it washed ashore on land with no water in sight. In the Swiss alps, to be exact. Equally naturally I hugged it, as one does, and quickly developed a terrible rash that covered both my arms, causing them to swell up grotesquely and quite possibly leading to death. And in the dream I clearly remember myself saying to Nick not "My dearest, rush me to the nearest hospital!" but "God, I hope this clears up before the wedding."

Love Flute

This morning, I spent too much time frantically doing last-minute hair research. Yeah. Really. I put these things off. I'm having my second and hopefully last hair consultation (which makes it sound so official, like I'm thinking of having my hair replaced with bigger, faster, shinier hair) this evening. The beautiful Megan Miller recommended the salon, so I'm sure they'll blow that other lady (see cartoon from a few weeks ago) out of the water.

Because all Internet roads lead to depressing wedding blogs, I clicked through a few (hundred) pages worth of "Once Wed." There, I came across the image above, which amused me greatly. The wedding in question had a Frida Kahlo theme. Ehm. Hello-ooo? Couldn't think of a more tumultuous wedding to conceptualize? And did someone bust out this "love flute" and noodle a romantic tune during the ceremony? Or is that suggestion just gross and inappropriate? Chad? Laura? Claire? Any interest?

And, on a somewhat separate note, why are flutes always "lilting"? And how can kisses be guided by lilting? Guided where? To the flute? Gross.

This will be my last pointless snarky entry. Promise.

Keep an eye out for a garish 9x6 envelope in your mailbox.

I sat on a full sheet of stamps, suffered a tongue-papercut while sealing envelopes (glue none to tasty, I'd like to report), and came thiiiis close to tossing my Epson out the window, but I'm pleased to announce that the wedding invites are in the mail. Well, most of them. I ran out of stamps. Just a few more to go tonight and this party is officially on.

PS: The carrier pigeon above is not in the mail delivery business. Instead he appears to be of the camera-toting variety. Not content-related but funny. I would imagine that camera is pretty heavy; seems like the pigeon would end up having to walk everywhere, which probl defeats the purpose. Sorry. Too much coffee this morning.

How We Met (includes some low-level adult content re my build)

As you’ve probably gathered by now, Nick and I met at a demolition derby in Sturgeon, MO. I kicked his ass with my Ford Aspire. Don’t ask Nick about it because he has yet to live it down.

No. Ok. I’m exaggerating for dramatic effect.

Nick wanted to shoot a demolition derby. But he didn’t want to pay for film. The j-school had a magazine that was interested in the pitch. All they needed was a writer. Serendipitously, I’d called them a day prior to casually throw my name in the hat for any quirky feature stories.

There wasn’t an immediate burst of butterflies and sparkly rainbows when we first met. Today, he says he couldn’t look me in the eye because he thought I was pretty. To me, he seemed a little distant. Albeit hot. I couldn’t believe that on a small-ish campus in a small-ish town, with so many of the same pre-requisite journalism classes and so few decent bars to choose from, I’d never seen Nick before.

Before we parted ways at the derby his last words to me were: “Just don’t walk into my frame.” He’s since checked the negatives from that night, hoping I’d slipped up and pranced into a photo or two. No such luck, even though we interviewed some of the same people. After I talked to some teenagers about their effed up car, Nick sidled over to see if they’d make for a good picture. “She’s cute,” they said to him (meaning me). “But her tits are way too small.” Nick says he remembers defending my honor that night, but I’m not sure how that played out.

On the ride back from Sturgeon to Columbia we were both wound up. The derby was fantastic, particularly because the guy Nick based his pitch on ended up winning. It was one of those balmy nights that I miss so much about Missouri. Crickets chirping in the fields, loads of stars in the sky. He told me a story about a girl who’d gotten her hair caught in the small fan he’d rigged up to cool the back of his car (no A/C in the Corvair). I actually got a little jealous. Another girl. In this car. Got her hair caught in his fan. Hm.

There’s one strong indication that I was more than just casually interested: I haven’t been able to consume an entire glass of beer since an unfortunate incident of overindulgence in eleventh grade. But when he suggested after the derby that we get pizza and a pitcher, I was on board so fast you’d think I take a beer with breakfast every day. I valiantly shared that pitcher with him. Not sure how I managed.

When Nick dropped me off, he seemed a little nervous. I think that’s the only way to explain our first good-bye sequence:

Me: “I had a great time tonight. Thanks!”
Pause…followed by…silence…
Then, just as I close the door he says:
“Yeah, well, I had nothing better to do.”

The way he said it made me smile. I could tell from the tone in his voice that it was one of those things people blurt out when their brain goes blank under duress. Kind of like the time I admitted to being lazy during a job interview. Which is far from the truth. And not at all what I meant. And not even really remotely related to anything we were talking about. Nick wasn’t a jerk. He just really liked me! I decided that I wanted to see him again. When I asked him out on our first date a few days later, he said yes (natch). Within a few years, we graduated from "I like you" to "I really, really like you" to "I love you" to "I'm in love with you." And now we're finally getting to the "I do."

Bam! Das Wedding Blog has its finger on the pulse.

Maybe I shoulda stuck to journalism. Two months ago I wrote an--admittedly a little bit snarky*--entry about discount weddings on Das Wedding Blog. Now Smart Money's web site published a story about the same topic, comparing prices of invites, cakes, flowers etc between high-end and discount sources (such as Costco and Walmart): "Battle of the Warehouse Weddings."

I will admit that at this point I must ingest a bitter little slice of humble pie. The article's section about wedding bands explains that there isn't really any difference between bands bought at Costco and bands bought at a local jewler. Except for the fact that a ring purchased at the latter will ring up at $400 bucks but cost $157 at Costco. And the fact that buying a wedding band at Costco is janky. I kiiid! Not janky. Thrifty. Yep.

*No, really!

Ran a curling iron through your hair 50 times. That'll be $75. Plus tip.

Still need a room?

In case anyone is still looking for wedding lodging, my dad booked a room at the Bed & Breakfast on the Park that will go unfilled because my grandmother can't make it to New York after all. Sigh. If no one ends up taking it, he can easily still cancel the reservation without penalty, but he'd have to know soon.

The room is lovely; particularly because it has access to its own private roof garden. The B&B is located in close proximity of the Montauk Club, and Nick and I will be staying there also. Just let me know if you're interested (janameier@hotmail.com), and I'll put you in touch with my dad.

Here's the info from their website:

On the top floor, this room offers a queen size bed swathed in antique French lace. A private rooftop garden boasts fabulous views of the city skyline and the Statue of Liberty. The room also has a sitting area and a large bathroom boasts an antique 6 foot tub.

Low Season (Jan-Mar.) $275 High Season (mid Apr-mid Nov.) $295

www.bbnyc.com

How-To

I'm not quite sure how couples managed to organize a wedding in the candlelit olden days before everything about anything could be found on the web. After spending what must by now amount to days on the Internet, looking for deals, reading depressing blogs about crafty brides-to-be (see earlier post about this topic), and researching vendors, I am under the impression that 50% of web content is somehow wedding-related.

Yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me that researching Native American wedding ceremonies might be interesting. Not--let me stress this--because ours will be a Native American ceremony, but because I am intrigued by the idea that plenty of white couples desire to have such a ceremony. Complete with anointment on forehead by eagle feathers and drinking from the traditional wedding jar in front of a tipi. This quickly proved to be too depressing (it seems in bad taste to appropriate yet another part of Native American life and bastardize it to fit your needs), so I was relieved to fortuitously land on the "How to Propose Marriage to a Woman" section of ehow.com (the web site that teaches you how to "do just about everything").

In a world where milk cartons come with opening instructions, it stands to reason that people also require step-by-step help on how to pop the question. Paraphrasing the advice would really take away from it, so here it is, in all its glory:

STEP 1 Try to keep your plans to yourself.
STEP 2 Consult your intended's father before asking, if you are a traditional kind of guy.
STEP 3 Make sure the proposal reflects your personal style. Get on one knee and propose at the top of a mountain, during a romantic weekend or while you're on a tropical vacation.
STEP 4 Have Champagne and flowers waiting.
STEP 5 If your partner says yes, call the people that matter to let them know
This, by the way, seems like a glaring missed opportunity for some real quality advice to me. Because what if he/she says no?
STEP 6 Be prepared to start talking about wedding plans immediately.
I like the prompt onset of stress and pressure here. Time's awastin'!
STEP 7 Don't be offended if your new fiancée is not taken with the ring you selected. She can choose another setting later if she desires.

Very helpful is the "List of Things You'll Need" that accompanies this entry: 1) Address Books (Does anyone still use these? And I'm not sure there's a bigger downer than immediately getting on the horn to every Tom, Dicky and Harry in your address book right after the proposal)
2) Flower Bouquets 3) Champagne 4) Engagement Rings (DUH! But why plural?) 5) Champagne Flutes

Then of course there's advice for the other party involved in this whole mess. Who is anxiously gnawing her fingernails to the quick while stressing out over whether the proposal will take place "at a lake" "at a concert" or "with a crossword puzzle." If you're the kind of person that just can't stand a probably much agonized over romantic surprise, this advice will suit:

Look around secret areas of your partner's home. Look for receipts or the ring. This doesn't have to be considered snooping if you are simply cleaning up his area.

Now that is just sad.

Flowas, for those interested in that kind of thing. Mom?

Not until I started seriously researching this whole wedding flowers business did I realize that whoa...there is some heinous stuff out there. I wanted flowers that looked like I had just traipsed into a dew-speckled (that part was negotiable) meadow to pick them. Not a floor-dragging bouquet I would need two hands to hold. After a considerable amount of research (who knew there were so many florists in NYC?!) I stumbled upon Brooklyn-based Nicolette Owen. Our tastes overlapped completely, and I think she is a total genius. And a pretty cool girl. Check out some of the beautiful arrangements on her website, Nicolette Camille Floral Design.

Just in time for the weekend: A healthy helping of CUTE

Man. This lil boids caketopper is cute. V-e-r-y cute. Probably too much so. But still. Via Etsy.

JUST WANTED TO ADD (04/22): My very artistically talented mom is making our caketoppers! And they don't involve birds or felt or flowers (Nick would never stand for such things anyway. Maybe felt but not the rest). Can't wait until they're done.

What font says "We're getting married and it won't be too cheesy"

There's a plethora of fonts out there that one might use for wedding paraphernalia. For those of you not so familiar with type, there's a whole world out there past the dreaded and eeeeeviiiiil Comic Sans (bancomicsans.com) and the ol' standby Times New Roman. I'm not talking anything found on "Free Font" sites that also hawk pixely clipart, but type created by people who do this sort of thing for a living. Yeah, you have to pay for it, but it--mostly--sure is purdy. Below some fonts I found, via Font Bureau (the last two) and Veer (the rest).

At the moment, I'm trying to figure out how to design all of the collateral material that comes with the wedding. Menus, place cards, escort cards (no worries; I didn't know what those are either, or that I needed them), programs, etc. The invites will be a collaboration with an illustrator, who is doing most of the heavy lifting at the moment. They should be done within the next two weeks. I hope. And they'll be...untraditional. I'll say that much.

Bling

I ain't ashamed to admit that if faced with this choice:
A) Wedding ring bought from effusive jeweler at local store for $300
B) Wedding ring purchased on faceless website and shoved in mailbox two weeks later for $200
I would probably choose A).

In my little (perhaps misguided) universe, this makes sense because I have this pesky habit of ascribing emotions to objects and places.* This--as an aside--makes it very hard for me to throw things away because I develop strong nostalgic feelings for them. A la "Oh, this is the toaster I bought from that sweet old man at the vintage shop on Cerrillos." It didn't work really then, it certainly doesn't work now, but I can't toss it (it's got bakelite handles!). And it reminds me of that cool store and toasting toast in my southwestern-themed kitchen in Santa Fe and so on and so forth. Ergo, I'm buying a memory along with an object.

But I digress. Wedding bands. We want simple, classic ones. I prefer yellow gold because it sets it apart from the silver rings we exchanged when we moved to separate cities after graduation. But, honestly, one simple gold wedding band is (or at least looks) like any other.

Soooooo, am I being stoopid by feeling a little weird about purchasing something so special off the web? Let me know if you have any opinions one way or the other. Maybe I'm being a little old-fashioned here.
Love,

J

*This, by the way, might be a German trait. Really! There was a story on NPR about it:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102518565

Caught in the Crafts Blog Vortex

I've never been particularly crafty. Mine were the paper planes that never flew, and I was the kid that habitually clued her craft supplies to her fingers. But suddenly I find myself trolling the Internet for nerdy craft supplies, sending Nick (poor Nick) e-mails to exclaim over "the perfect paper labels" or "vintage plastic birds" or "antique jars" or the like. Not sure what's happening, but I think I need to stop going to the Martha Stewart Weddings blog. There are girls out there who fashion their entire wedding out of a single sheet of paper!

Regardless. I'm planning to overcome childhood clumsiness to get all crafty on this wedding. Particularly after I realized that things I had considered miscellaneous expenses are actually adding up. I certainly never thought that I'd be spending more than a hundred bucks (way more) on votive candles. But there you have it. It's gonna be beautiful. Or else.

I've not been particularly good about updating this blog, but I'll try to be better. Not sure if anyone is reading these rambling missives, but I'll follow this up with a question about wedding bands and then, later this week, a novelette about how we met, penned by yours truly and Nick in a tag team effort of sorts.

Rooms Blocked at the Nu Hotel

Hi ya'll outtatowners. We blocked off 15 rooms for you at the Nu Hotel in our Brooklyn neighborhood (also close to the venue). The rate for a non-smoking room with a Queen-sized bed is $169 per night plus tax. It's a two-night block, the arrival date being Saturday, September 5th. Guests who would like to arrive a night earlier (Friday) can still get the reduced rate for that extra night.

To book a room, please contact Ryan Ocker at the Nu Hotel. His number is 347-227-4853. You can also get in touch with him via e-mail: ryan.ocker@hershahotels.com When booking, you'll need the block code: 0909ROBERT. Mention that you're with the Roberts-Meier wedding.

According to their contract, all rooms must be booked by July 31. Any remaining rooms in the block will be released on this date and you won't be able to get the reduced group rate.

Here's their web site again, if you wanna take another look: http://www.nuhotelbrooklyn.com
Nick checked out the rooms and liked them. He said they "still have that new hotel smell." It's a nice place! And very conveniently located.

NY Transportation + Hotels

For the uninitiated and/or directionally challenged (like me, who operates not on: "Go North for about two blocks, then head East" but on "walk in the direction of traffic flow until you hit the corner with that dog grooming place crammed with cute puppies, then turn right") the idea of finding your way around New York can be a little daunting. But it's a lot smaller than it might at first appear, and there are many ways to get around. Nevertheless, we recommend that you pick a hotel no farther away than Midtown. Getting from the upper reaches of the island (the Upper East and West side) to Brooklyn is a little bit of a trek. Translated that means: Avoid hotels above 60th St.

Our wedding venue is located right by a few well-known Brooklyn landmarks: Grand Army Plaza, the Brooklyn Library, the Brooklyn Museum and the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. The exact address is 25 8th Avenue, Brooklyn. There are two subway stops nearby: The 2 and 3 trains stop at "Grand Army Plaza" and the D and Q trains stop at "7th Avenue." Both stops are within two blocks of the Montauk Club and will take you from there to Manhattan, if need be. These two web sites are great resources to help you navigate the subway system:

1) HopStop.com
2) Trips123.com
And here's a link to the the official MTA subway map:
http://www.mta.info/nyct/maps/submap.htm

Both HopStop and Trips 123 give detailed traveling directions, and HopStop includes walking directions to and from your stop. It also tells you how long your trip will take and gives you an idea how much a cab ride for the same route might cost. Because, of course, yellow cabs and car services (ones that are called by phone instead of hailed on the street) are another good--though more expensive--way to get from A to B. To give you an idea, a cabride from Times Square, Midtown, to the Montauk Club will set you back about $20-$25 and can take about the same amount of time as the subway ride, depending on traffic.

Below is a first crack at a list of hotels that might work for you out-of-towners. We've noticed that rates have gone down this year, so for the first time it's possible to get a good deal on a NY hotel room. So you might want to supplement the list below with some research of your own.

Tomorrow, we're planning on blocking off 15 rooms at the Nu Hotel in Brooklyn. So don't call them quite yet. We'll let you know once we've sealed the deal.

The Nu Hotel is a new (Ha! No, seriously) hotel on Atlantic and Smith, in the neighborhood we live in. There are lots of great eating, drinking and shopping establishments there, in all price ranges. From there you could take the 3 train to our wedding venue. Due to the close proximity, however, taking a car would actually be faster in this case. The five-minute ride will cost about eight dollars.

http://www.nuhotelbrooklyn.com/home.cfm

Here is a list of other possible lodging options, both in Brooklyn and in Manhattan (the options in Brooklyn are near our wedding venue):

MANHATTAN

Stay Hotel
http://www.stayhotelny.com/
($219 for a medium room with a queen bed)
Here is a link to an article about the place that ran in the New York Times earlier this month: http://travel.nytimes.com/2009/03/01/travel/01check.html?scp=1&sq=stay%20hotel&st=cse

Warwick Hotel
http://www.warwickhotelny.com/
(Rooms with a view, King or Queen, hover around $200)
Classic, elegant old New York hotel, located across the street from Moma.

Union Square Inn
http://www.unionsquareinn.com/
$169-$209 per night
Clean little boutique hotel. Not many amenities (no kitchen, for example) but nicely designed and conveniently located.

Carlton Arms
http://www.carltonarms.com/
$110-$180 for a room with a private bath. For the more adventurous as each room was designed by a different artist. Rooms without shared baths are much cheaper, so it's worth looking into if you're on a budget.

Hosteling International, New York City
http://www.hihostels.com/dba/hostels-HI---New-York-City-060003.en.htm
This hostel offers dorm-room beds for $35 a night, if you're on a very tight budget. It gets mixed reviews, but most hostels do, in my experience. Here is a site that lists a few others:
http://www.hostels.com/us.ny.ny.html


BROOKLYN:

Hotel le Bleu (Park Slope)
http://www.hotellebleu.com/index.htm
(If you pay in full at time of booking and don't change dates you can get a room with King-sized bed for $175)
This hotel is pretty new, and I don't know anyone who's stayed there, but it's gotten some good reviews on sites like Tripadvisor.com. It's in a transitional part of Park Slope--so a little industrial--but close to the wedding venue.

Nu Hotel (Brooklyn Heights)
http://nuhotel.com
(Queen for $170, Kind $180)
Where we hope to block off rooms

Holiday Inn Express
https://www.orbitz.com/Secure/ViewHotelFinalReview?null&WT.mc_id=o_ta_merch_dated&DCSext.mc_kw=205292&WT.mc_ev=click&retrieveParams=true&z=b9c8&r=b
This hotel is located on Union St, on a pretty ugly block, but it's within minutes of the venue and the much nicer parts of Park Slope. It's a little expensive, I think, but wanted to include it anyway.

Regina's New York Bed & Breakfast (Fort Greene)
http://home.earthlink.net/~remanski/#rates
(Prices range from $120 to $200 per day)
Owned by a German lady, if that influences your decision at all. I'm not sure if this is the case here, but because many Bed & Breakfast places are converted one-family brownstones, shared bathrooms are frequent. Not bad if you book the entire floor among a group of friends/family, potentially awkward if you're sharing with strangers. So always worth asking if the room comes with a private bath.

Sofia Inn
http://www.thesofiainn.com/
Rates are ok, but some rooms share bathrooms.

The House on 3rd St
http://www.houseon3st.com/
This seems like a great deal for a small family. Rather than a hotel/b&b setup, this would be more like living in your own apartment.

Discount Wedding CLICK HERE

Everybody's got their hot little hands in the wedding biz, even Costco! Searching for florists, we stumbled across the discount retail chain's wedding bouquet/arrangement selection (they're big on sunflowers though; pet peeve of mine*). You can even buy your wedding bands and book your honeymoon through them. Five-night "Body Holiday" in St. Lucia for $1,785, anyone? That's per person, of course. They do throw in a bottle of--unnamed--wine...

This made me curious. Lo and behold, Walmart also has an online wedding section, where they shill everything from "personalized wedding unity candle holders" to $1,500 engagement rings. And, on a cooler note, Target sells Isaac Mizrahi wedding gowns, with the most expensive one coming in at $79.99. Though of the cheapest one reviewer had to say:

AWFUL!
Reviewer: Meghan L. Mcardle See all my reviews
The top of this dress was contructed poorly and did not match the representation in the photo. It appeared cheap and felt flimsy. My sister told me that the top looked like my mother's tablecloth! I was terribly disappointed with the shell and skirt and returned it the same day that I received it. The only positive is that the fit was true to size.

Girl. This gown costs 50 bucks. If you do some deep soul searching: what were you expecting?

*most overrated flower. As the dolphin is the most overrated animal (apologies to everyone who thinks they're the most precious and intelligent creature in the high seas...).

You're gonna be a friggin mess by the time you get married. Unless...

After moving to New York, I started processing things that happened to me there by turning them into cartoons. I hadn't kept a diary in years, and this was more fun. Less navel-gazing. Here's a wedding-related one I made after joining a gym near my office. If you click on them, you can see a slightly bigger version in which you might even be able to decipher my chicken scrawl.

And because some of you might be more interested in what the place looks like (sans me)

This is the ground floor where the reception/party will be happening.

It's Over!

The search, I mean. Here I am, right after handing over our deposit check at the Montauk Club in Park Slope, Brooklyn. I'm squinting, not winking. But I guess it works either way. Nick and I signed the contract that locks down our date, September 6th, 2009 (the Sunday of Labor Day weekend). So mark your calendars, boys and girls. An official save-the-date will arrive via e-mail in a few days.
Love,

J and N

Two different places, still the best we've seen...

So J & I had dinner last night at the Montauk Club. Food was quite good. The service was very friendly. And the wedding coordinator on-site (Sanya) was super-friendly and helpful. Furthermore, our waitress was named "Jana", though pronounced "Jay-nuh". A sign perhaps?

We're one small step from making the decision final (simply signing the contract, putting down the deposit and taking it back to the Club).

For all that the Montauk Club offers, they still don't have an online commercial like this:

http://grandprospecthall.com/

It's the best commercial we've seen. We just kept watching it. This place makes your dreams come true.

But we're with Montauk instead.

N

Wedding Venue Option Number Fünf

There is a dark horse wedding venue candidate: The Montauk Club in Park Slope. According to their website, it's "inspired by a palace on Venice’s Grand Canal" (to which Jana would like to inquire "What is this, Vegas or somethin'?") It also says the place was built in 1891 and has a "Gatsby feel" to it. Nice. And hopefully not Vegas-esque. The MC is a private club near Prospect Park (which is superior to Central Park because there are fewer people there and, well, it's fairly close to our apt) that has nice old wood interiors without feeling too stiff. We could do the ceremony and reception there and the food is good according to what we find on the internets.

http://www.montaukclub.com/home.cfm

The thing with wedding venues is that they don't always write you back. Even after you fill out their "Tell Us About Your Event" form. Twice. Within 2 or 3 months. Then found the manager's email on their site, wrote last night and cut out the middleman. Got an email reply within hours.

Going this afternoon to scout it out, then hit a Chinese New Year party in the same neighborhood.

Classic.

The Knot magazine's entrance song recommendation for the "Casual Twosome":
"Unbelievable," by EMF.

This is wonderful, on so many levels. Not least because of these lines from the song (burned into my impressionable middle school brain):
You burden me with your questions You'd have me tell no lies. You're always askin' what it's all about, don't listen to my replies. You say to me I don't talk enough, But when I do I'm a fool. These times I've spent, I've realized, I'm gonna shoot through, and leave you.

Ha! Maybe the DJ could just shorten the song to a few repeats of: "Oh! You're Unbelievable" and edit out everything else. I can't begin to imagine that anyone would choose this song for anything, really. Though they also recommend "Have I Told You Lately that I Love You" by Rod Stewart for the mother-son dance. 'Cause that's not awkward.

Reader Suggestion

From Dave Grindon: If you get married in Santa Fe, it should be in a hot air balloon. The whole audience won't fit in a single balloon, of course, so they'd float alongside yours and Nick's in smaller, slightly less grand (but still elegant) balloons. Maybe they'd be equipped with video screens so they can still follow the ceremony in case any of them float off course. Just a thought.

Venue Options Number Zwei, Drei, und Vier

New York is veritable plethora of wedding venue options. You can get married on a barge, if so inclined (I get seasick on swingsets, so that option's out). However, a vast number of creative fees (that are not revealed until you've fallen in love with the place) has made it hard for us to evaluate the offerings across the board. There may be elevator fees. Cake-plating fees. Clean-up fees. Serving-wine-with-dinner fees. Janitorial fees. Union fees. Taping fees. Using-your-own-selection-of-vendors fees. Plus tax and 20% gratuity.

In spite of all this, we saw three venues in NYC that appealed to us. All would allow us to have the ceremony and the reception in the same space:
1) The Brooklyn Academy of Music
Official site:
http://bam.org/view.aspx?pid=383
Caterer's site with photos of the venue:
http://greatperformances.com/index.cfm/venues/bam-brooklyn-academy-of-music/objectid:D809FAF6-3048-7098-AF09FCB85DBB159A

The current front-runner, BAM is conveniently located near several subway stops, buslines and hotels. They run a tight ship in a cool space. Included is free use of their sound system, lighting setup and projector. The caterer serves organic fare and has an appealing menu. We're not sure yet what exactly the bar stipulations are, so that could raise costs beyond our reach. Ditto the fact that the wedding might get more expensive if our number of guests dips below 80. We get the space for six hours, until 11 pm. But there are lots of bars in the neighborhood we could migrate to afterwards, if the desire arises.

2) The Metropolitan Building
A link to some stranger's wedding photos, taken on the second floor (the space we would be renting):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaimejoebigday/sets/72157603768443330/
Their official web site:
http://www.metropolitanbuilding.com/

A little bit further out, the MB is in Long Island City. Accessible by subway though maybe better by cab or car service. The building is privately owned and houses photo studios and an antique shop plus furniture storage. It's got character, though it toes the line (for me, Jana) between janky and shabby chic. Nick is fine with the way the venue looks and is more concerned about the food. They don't do tastings, and we don't feel very comfortable with investing $150 a head (+tax and gratuity) into something we haven't tried. Add to that the cost of liquor, which we would provide. They're a little loosey goosy in terms of contracts etc., we've heard. On the other hand, everything looks better by candlelight and they would let us use some of the antiques they have in storage. It is the most expensive of the three, but we can arrive early and the last person doesn't have to be out of there til 2 am.

3) Twenty-Four Fifth
Official site: http://www.theglaziergroup.com/restaurants/245th/

This is a small ballroom north of Washington Square, near NYU. It's the most affordable of the three options and their wedding coordinator was exceedingly nice. They are also associated with a steakhouse, so the food would be good. But I preferred the look and feel of BAM and the MB (Jana, of course. Who else). We could rent the place for five hours.

Fake Cake

Remember the last time you had peach cobbler? Or blueberry pie? Apple pie? Picturing it? Now try to recall the taste of a particular wedding cake you've had. Still thinkin? Yeah. Dwell on that. Our decision to forgo the wedding cake altogether and serve pies instead is not just financially motivated (though wedding cakes can easily cost 600-900 dollars in NY). We found out from a (very nice and helpful) venue rep that quite a few couples have a "fake" wedding cake to cut into just for show. Only the part they're slicing into is real, the rest is styrofoam. Then this show-offy fake cake is whisked away and slices cut from a poor "ordinary" sheet cake (hidden from sight in the kitchen) are doled out to guests. Mmmmh....tastes like tacky.

Alexander Girard

I forgot to mention that The Compound was designed by Alexander Girard, who is...well...purdy awesome. He worked at Herman Miller in the 50s and 60s as head of their textile division. His fabrics were used in the furniture of George Nelson and Charles & Ray Eames. And on a more manly note, Girard also did some work for the John Deere World Headquarters.

In the late 70s, he donated his folk art collection (over 100,000 objects) to the Museum of International Folk Art in Santa Fe. Definitely worth a look.

Venue Option Number Eins: The Compound Restaurant

Deciding on a replacement venue has been much harder than we thought. Our Plan B, called Hyde Park Lodge (or in the parlance of one wedding planner's web site "The Swiss Chalet") was booked so fast it made our heads spin. Couples camp out overnight in front of the ranger's station to hook their claws into a desired date. And this in January. On a ski mountain in Santa Fe. Not that dedicated, we tried to book over the phone because one of the rangers told us that was another option "if you just call early enough." Upon closer examination, this makes no sense. When we called, the guy who picked up gave a hearty (ranger-style) laugh and asked us to call back in an hour and a half once he's worked his way through the thirty couples shivering in line. Of course by that time, our date was "loooooong gone."

Because New Mexico is one of the most gorgeous places we've ever been to (I lived there for three years and Nick for one), we'd very much still like to have the wedding there. The air smells so wonderfully of mesquite and sage you'd swear they secretly pump some kind of scent into it. Also, they don't call it mañana land for nothin'. It's pretty damn relaxing there...* Our worry is that a few people might not be able to make the trip to Santa Fe. But flights can be cheaper (around $250 roundtrip from NY, but I'll see about group rates with Southwest) if you leave early in the morning, around 6 am. That gets you into ABQ around noon and you can either rent a car or take a shuttle for the 50-minute drive to SF. There are rooms of all price ranges to be had. Starting at $18 for a dormitory spot in the Santa Fe hostel to $300-a-night places.

The trick was finding a wedding venue that can accommodate a group as large was we have planned (70-80), while still having enough space left over for dancin' and stuff. In addition, we wanted to find a place that is authentically beautiful and not of the--shudder at the thought--touristy kind of Santa-Fe style. You know. Howling coyotes bedraped with little pink bandanas and things of that ilk. Oh, and of course the food should be great. And they should be open late. And they should have outdoor space. And we should be able to have the ceremony and the reception there. And we shouldn't have to sell our firstborn to be able to afford it. And it shouldn't be too hard to get to. You see where this can start getting tricky.

Here's what it came down to:
The Compound Restaurant
http://www.compoundrestaurant.com/
The Compound has excellent food and a garden to have the ceremony in. Gardens that aren't xeriscaped (basically lots of rocks, buffalo grass, plants that need very little water) aren't a given in Santa Fe. Did I mention they have excellent food? Their wedding coordinator's been very nice, too. All the above applies to the Compound. And it's the cheapest of the venues we've taken into closer consideration.

TK tomorrow: Our New York option choices. Feedback welcome.


*Unless you WANT to exert yourself: There are lots of hikes (or walks) to go on, either in the woods, canyons or desert. Or you can go climbing, riding (on bikes or horses), shopping, eating, spa-ing, whatever...

We still love you, Galisteo Inn. But it's a love-hate thing.

Das Event: Wedding
Das (tentative) date: September 6, 2009
Das Place: TBA

In an effort to make 2009 a year to remember, I've spent the past six days covered in chicken pox. Today it occurred to me that there's more to quarantine than sitting on the sofa drinking chicken broth (ah, the irony) and watching Family Guy. Hence, Das Wedding Blog. Thank you, Laura, for dreaming up this most excellent name.
Close second: Nochocolatefountain.blogspot.com
Third: Daaah-dah-dadaaaaah.blogspot.com

This is where Nick and I will inform you of our wedding-planning travails and the fruit they bear. Or not. Due to what can only be described as shitty cosmic karma our mutual back-patting for early nailing down of venue was swiftly punished in mid December. RIP Galisteo Inn. You would've been perfect. With your beautiful rooms, gourmet cook, wonderful setting in a charming New Mexico town only 20 minutes outside of Santa Fe. But we're slowly getting over you. Just for God's sake, please take your web site down. http://galisteoinn.com/